I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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