idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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