Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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