Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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