whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
