He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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