You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize