its not stalking. its research.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
