Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
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she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties