I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....