I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.