Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.