i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place