My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.