I'm jealous of your bromance
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.