I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
