guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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