and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
