Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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