Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
