distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
