I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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