this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
how does that bad decision feel?
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