He asked me if I "almost moaned"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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