She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
