Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
