i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
