the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
