Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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