omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
