Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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