I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize