I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
one might say we're banned from that church
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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