Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
