Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
