Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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