they need to just BURY HIM!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
