why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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