I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
