i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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