Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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