sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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