brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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