Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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