I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
