Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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