The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor