Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza