just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
