Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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