I feel like abortions should bother me more
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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