It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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