ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
