Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
