Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
