sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
