he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
