I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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