i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
