I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize