It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
In America we eat man semen.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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