i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
