he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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