we have officially lost it.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
