if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
