I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
