How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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