Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
