All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize