We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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