Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
