I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
