so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
