I have demons in me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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