Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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