In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
