I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We got so high we made milksteak
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
