I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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