brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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