I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
