Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
