You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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